Movie Review: The Books of John

If you’re any kind of storyteller, you have to be careful of starting your story with the end, because your audience has not developed any emotional connections with the characters. It can be done, but it has to be done carefully, artfully and with grace. The Books of John has none of these qualities. This film starts with the death of John, the eponymous title character. Co-directors and co-creators L. W. Smith and David Schweiger either don’t know how to involve the audience or didn’t bother. I’d like to think it was the former. An interesting premise wasted on bad storytelling, terrible acting and horrific audio. It’s better than most of it’s Ariztical brethren but that’s not saying much. Continuing my quest to find an Ariztical movie that doesn’t suck.

One Star out of Five

Movie Review: Blue Citrus Hearts

There are tons of coming out/coming of age films and with good reason; almost everyone has a coming out tale and most of us have a coming of age story. It’s our basic universal story. But this one misses the mark by a long shot. The audio is as bad as other reviewers have mentioned; in many scenes the music drowns out the dialog. Other reviewers have mentioned that they liked the music because it spoke to them or it was their kind of music. That’s fine, but that still doesn’t make it a good movie. That’s like saying the movie Xanadu is a great movie because you like the music. Look, if you want to feature your kind of music so prominently, make a music video. Then there’s the bad acting, the nausea-inducing shaky hand-held camera shots, and the paper-thin plot. I couldn’t finish watching it. If you want a good coming out/coming of age film, rent Beautiful Thing, Edge of Seventeen or Get Real. Yet another sucky Ariztical movie.

Bottom line: For Gen Y only, and probably not even then.

Zero stars out of 5

Quote

This powerful quote speaks for itself.

"To the kind souls who decided that I’m not equal, and voted to strip me, and others in my community of their constitutional rights, congratulations. Your bigotry and fear have won this day. In 40 years, when viewed through the prism of history, you’ll find yourselves as respected and loved as the racists and segregationists of the 1960s. In 40 years, when the first gay or lesbian wins the highest office in the land, you’ll be sharing the same lonely corner as those folks who yesterday couldn’t “vote for a n*gger,” and woke up to discover that an African American was president, and that history had passed them by.

"Until that day, I fear for the lives of your gay sons and lesbian daughters. The ones who can’t talk to you about it, and suffer silently. They’ll be dying for your choice, because teen suicide rates in gays and lesbians is driven by fear, and by feelings of worthlessness that proposition 8 reinforces. No doubt the ones who finally do come out, will suffer the indignity of either the scam of “reparative therapy” or homelessness, as so many do. Until that day, I fear for the children of gays and lesbians, who will face ridicule and discrimination at school because their families “aren’t real” and their mommies or daddies “aren’t really married.”

"Finally, I fear for you. If the God you worship is the one about whom I’ve read, you’ve got some serious explaining to do. Like the woman in John 8, I’d offer you the first stone, but I’m already bloodied by Proposition 8." - Lee Tucker, writing on his blog.

Hell Freezes Over

In a historic move, the Chicago Tribune has endorsed Barak Obama for president. So what, you say? So this is the first time EVER the Tribune, in it's 150+ year history, that has endorsed a Democrat. This includes two endorsements for Nixon and two for the current idiot in office.

It will be interesting to see who the Pantagraph endorses. They're even more conservative then the Trib, if that's possible.

Extreme Pumpkins

Just when you thought it was safe for your gourds, check this site out. Extreme Pumpkins

100 Greatest, Gayest Albums of All Time

This list of the 100 Greatest, Gayest Albums of All Time represents a lot of the music I listened to as a teenager, college student and young adult. Some of these I've never heard of. And some I played to death (Bronski Beat.)

Some quibbles: David Bowie's Let's Dance is at least as gay if not gayer than Ziggy.

I'm disappointed that Queen, ELO and The Communards are not represented. Especially Queen: In the mid- to late-seventies owning a Queen album was practically a red flag.

Cool Link

This color test reminds me of the Luscher Color Test popular in the seventies and early 80s. Oh wait, it is!

I took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of exp..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

Penney's Back To School Commercial

I think this commercial is total brilliance. Of course, the original movie was total brilliance, that's why it still resonates more than 20 years later.

An updated version of The Breakfast Club:

Mutt

Why is there no cat equivalent to mutt. Oh sure, there's 'Domestic Shorthair." But that doesn't have the impact of mutt. I mean, mutt says what it means and means what it says. Domestic Shorthair sounds like a politically correct term fashioned by a committee. The late, great George Carlin did a rant about this.

How about it? A new word for 'cat mutt?'

Kim Myles

Tonight the latest installment of Myles of Style. She's the winner of last summer's DesignStar 2 competition. And I have to say her show has rapidly become one of my favorites on HGTV because she does one thing that no other HGTV host does.

A bit of background; I was pulling for her early on in the competition. Would have liked to see more of Lisa, she seemed like a lot of fun and was certainly a wild dresser but her initial design sucked and she was rightly canned first. I also liked the little Hispanic girl; she seemed so passionate and she was a carpenter, which I think is cool. Rob -- no way. He made for great television but was way too abrasive and I couldn't picture him working well with anyone. Todd was pretty to look at (Take off your shirt!) and I liked his solo design. Ultimately, he and Kim ended up in the final competition where they had to design a luxury hotel suite. Kim's looked lovely and comfortable. Todd's looked like a teenage boy's bedroom.
So my vote went to Kim.
As I mentioned before I like her show a lot. She's perky, but then that's a prerequisite for HGTV hosts. She's got good ideas. I like her designs. Most seem doable for the average homeowner.

Here's what sets her apart: She's so collaborative. At least twice I heard her ask the homeowners "Is this OK?" or "What do you think?" or something to that effect. This is unique among HGTV hosts. Very cool. Course, none of the homeowners - yet- have said "Gee, it think it sucks." I'd like to see how she handles that.

But I have a guess that she'd handle it with class and flexibility.

Go Kim!

Movie Review: As Luck Would Have It

I really enjoyed this film despite the fact that it was French. (OK, it may be Swiss-French but I was unable find any info on IMDB.) I have a snarky nickname for French films: Plotless Wonders. That’s because when on the rare occasion French filmmakers deign to include something as pedestrian as a plot it’s buried under layers and layers of allegory, symbolism and metaphor. Not my cup of tea and because of this, I avoid French films as a rule. But this movie is a refreshing exception. And it actually has a plot although some coincidences are a bit too far-fetched to accept. It’s the funny and well-acted story of a literature professor who is appointed the guardian of a sixteen-year-old orphan. The more he protests the appointment, the deeper in trouble he gets. Some of the characters have sudden and unexplained personality changes but I was able to overlook this because most the characters are so likable and the story so much fun.

The French DO know how to make a good farce.

Well worth a rent!

Four Stars out of Five