Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Ask Amy: Bad Roomie Advice

I like Amy Dickinson, the advice columnist for the Chicago Tribune.  She’s on-target most of the time, but on this column, I think she missed the boat by not giving a more complete answer. Here’s the original question with Amy’s answer and my version.

Son's preference: No gay roommate

July 20, 2009
Dear Amy: My 18-year-old son "Bob" is leaving for his freshman year of college in August. Bob just received his roommate assignment, and after "friending" him onFacebook, Bob discovered that his roomie is gay. 

Bob has four older siblings who have made it successfully through college and dorm life. They've had roommates who were of different races, different cultures and different religions, and have gotten along fine. Bob would prefer a straight roommate. 

When I called the university to ask if Bob could be assigned another roomie, the housing director intimated that I was persecuting the gay roommate and that if my son didn't start out rooming with the gay student, then Bob could go to another school. He can put in for a room change during the first two weeks of school if he wants to switch.

I was taken aback. The university (a Jesuit school) has no policy for gay/straight roommates, other than that they don't permit discrimination. Bob will room with the assigned roommate. 
In doing an informal poll of my older children and their friends, I discovered that all but one had a gay roommate and didn't stay roommates for long. 

Is it discrimination when a straight man doesn't want to room with a gay man? Do you think schools should have a policy about this?

–Worried Mom

Dear Worried: Evidently you understand and applaud your kids' ability to room with people of every background, race and creed, but you and your family draw the line at sexual orientation. 

I agree with your school's policy not to discriminate. You could help your son by assuming that he will have a successful roommate experience, but let him know what his options are if he doesn't. 
Sometimes students are held hostage by their roommates' nighttime schedule, alcohol use or indiscriminate dating life. That's why the school permits students to switch roommates after a two-week trial. 

"My roommate is gay" in and of itself isn't a valid reason to switch in advance, any more than, "my roommate is Asian" would be. 

This should be your son's issue to sort out on his own.


My Response:

Dear Worried:
Let me run a few hypothetical situations past you. What if the roommate had not “friended” your son? Not only would your son would have no knowledge of his future roommate’s sexuality, it probably would have raised suspicions. What if there were no Facebook? You have to concede that the future roommate is pretty brave to post this information on his Facebook page. It also indicates that there are plenty of people currently in his life, including friends, family and possible employers, who have no problem with his sexuality.

Is your son attracted to every girl that passes by? Of course not. You are jumping to conclusions when you think that the roommate will automatically be attracted to your son. And that jump, in this case, is a long one. It may come as a shock to you that some gay men who are not attracted to straight men at all.

This is precisely the kind of homophobia that got Matthew Shepard killed. If the roommate makes a pass at “Bob” (and again this is a long shot) then the proper response is a firm but polite, “No, thanks. I’m not interested.” If the roommate persists, THEN it’s time to talk to the Resident Assistant.

Your “informal poll” proves nothing. Did you bother to ask WHY the other students changed roommates? It probably had nothing to do with sexuality of the former roommate and more with common lifestyle differences; IE one roomie was a neatnik and the other was a slob.

It appears that you are only concerned about gay sex. Don’t you have the same concerns about “Bob” having sex with a co-ed? What about the possibility of STDs or pregnancy? As an ex-Catholic I can assure that sex with anyone would be frowned upon at a Jesuit institution. Is your son using protection? Do I need to remind you that protection is also not officially allowed in the Catholic church.

And what the hell are you doing calling the residential life office on your son’s behalf? This is your son’s problem. (Although you were instrumental in instilling homophobia in your son. Congratulations on that, by the way.)

Butt out. College is supposed to be a learning experience. So let your son learn from this. 

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Story in Tribune

In the Consumer Watch column in the Tribune today is the story of a halfway house for recovering GLBT on Chicago's Northwest Side.

To summarize: A halfway house of recovering GLBT substance abusers will have to move because of neighbor complaints and a mix-up in zoning requirements.

I think this smacks of homophobia. It's still the fear that the homosexuals will ravage and recruit their teenage kids. Very disappointing.

In addition the alderman Gene Schulter (47th) declined to back Living With Pride meaning that the center will likely have to move; an expensive proposition. He stated that the directors of the center had not done sufficient outreach to the community to explain their mission. This may be true.

But...how much outreach is enough? The article states that the neighbors voted 56-11 against the center. What if the vote had been 27-50? Would Schulter still decline to support the center? Would their appeal still fail? And since when are most zoning issues put to a vote in corrupt Chicago? Usually, whatever the city wants, the city gets.

Obviously, the city does not want this.

http://tinyurl.com/mvr56v

Monday, June 01, 2009

Oprah's Medical Advice

I always thought that Oprah's medical advice was suspect. Read this Newsweek article.

Also, I thought that Dr. Oz was suspect, not because he gives bad medical advice, but because he doesn't stand up to these quacks. (This is covered on page 5)

Why Sony Sucks


This was taken with my Sony Cybershot. My FORMER Sony Cybershot. It's now been replaced with a Kodak Easyshare.

Pretty obvious why it was replaced, huh?

I must have studied the manual for hours, and I searched online for troubleshooting advice. But no matter what I did I couldn't get the picture to clear. I swear I didn't drop it, it wasn't exposed to extreme temperatures, nor did it get wet. I'm really disappointed. It was a SONY.

On the other hand, like Carl said, Sony isn't exactly known for cameras.

Dad was a Sony man. I remember he bought a portable radio in the late 60s. It had great sound and a clever design that incorporated an antenna into a carrying handle. When Deux and I cleaned out his house after he died, he still had many Sony products in his house. So I figured that a Sony camera was a sure bet.

In addition, the Kodak is much more user-friendly and has a bigger screen. I never could get the hang of all the "modes" on the Sony camera. I am not a photographer. And really, all I want to do is to point and shoot, not fuss with settings.

The Kodak fits the bill nicely. So long, Sony.

(BTW, that's Tigger.)

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Movie Review: The Journey of Jared Price

It’s always interesting to me to watch the earlier work of an award-winning moviemaker. In this case, the winner in question is Dustin Lance Black, who won an Academy Award for Milk. Black wrote and directed this very low budget movie about a young man who leaves Georgia for (where else?) Los Angeles. It’s an admirable first try but in my opinion does not foreshadow his later work. Part of the problem is the production values. The sound is muffled at times and the dialog can be difficult to understand. The use of hand-held cameras throughout the movie is tiresome at first and then irritating. Another problem is the amateurish acting. Although the young man who plays Jared Price (Corey Spears) is easy on the eyes, a thespian he ain’t. But the basic problem with this movie is much larger than the acting, production values or low budget. The problem is that unlike Harvey Milk who was a fascinating, complex, and compelling human being, Jared Price is a dull and one-dimensional character. Who cares? I sure didn’t.

Two Stars out of Five

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Movie Review: Mulligans

Steven Spielburg said, “People have forgotten how to tell a story. Stories don't have a middle or an end any more. They usually have a beginning that never stops beginning.” And that is the essence of this review. This movie has no ending, it just sort of…stops. The premise of the story is an interesting one: Dad falls for son’s best friend. And although I have no interest in golf whatsoever, I find the golf metaphor interesting enough. Writer/actor Charlie David even goes so far as to define a mulligan in the opening credits. “A mulligan, in golf, is when a player gets a second chance to perform a certain move or action.” So where is the mulligan? If there is one in this movie, I missed it. This film does have a lot going for it; it’s sexy, well-acted, funny in part and witty at times. The technical aspects are all good to excellent. The situation is plausible enough, although some aspects of the plot are not. For example, Nathan’s wife Stacy seems to go from zero to card-carrying Human Rights Campaigner in less than 60 seconds. It’s not a bad movie. In fact it’s pretty good. It’s just that the whole movie set up expectations of some sort of epiphany, a wake-up call, a second chance and there is none. A pleasant enough movie but nowhere near the audacious tagline “The Graduate for a new generation.” Where’s Steven Spielburg when you need him?

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Keith Olbermann Eviscerates Carrie Prejean


Now can we PLEASE PLEASE lay this to rest? This is the Miss USA pageant. A beauty pageant! There is nothing less important to the state of the nation than a beauty pageant. Except a gossip columnist.

Now at the risk of angering some of my gay brethren Perez Hilton is a GOSSIP COLUMNIST! The only class of people lower than gossip columnists is televangelists.

STOP STOP STOP. Your 15 minutes were up an hour ago.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Tea Bag Douchbags



Douchebag can't even explain WHY he thinks Obama is a fascist. Makes me embarrassed to admit I live in Illinois, as if I needed another reason to be embarrassed.
And yet, these asswipes will be the first to call when they want a pothole filled or if their garbage isn't picked up on time.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Movie Review: An Angel Named Billy

Ouch! I’m writing this review with the film playing in the background, so sure am I that I’m not missing anything. The plot kinda resembles Sum of Us but without the good acting. And without the good production values. And without anything closely resembling a good movie. The plot has some possibilities but the writer/director squanders them on hollow, empty, stereotyped characters. At least the filmmaker didn’t pander to the audience with nudity. As bad as this movie is, there’s worse. But not many.

1 Star out of 5